That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
