do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
