eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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