A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
