I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
