my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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