She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
