i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
