I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
