Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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