Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
