I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
