WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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