Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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