You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
