1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize