Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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