i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
