explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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