If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
