Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
