I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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