Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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