Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
