What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
