Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
