So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
