Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize