Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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