I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
how drunk are you?
Several
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
