I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
