trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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