There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize