I wanna passion pit in your ass
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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