i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
