I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
