I cockslap morals
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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