What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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