I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Drake has all the answers
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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