I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
