I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
