Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize