Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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