Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
