Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just come out here and I will go home with you...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
