Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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