You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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