Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
as a side note pls kill me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
