there was a trapeze. enough said
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
