i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
