i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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