Heybabeimwearingurpanties
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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