You can't special order awesome
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
