I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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