Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize