There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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