No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
