I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
