Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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