i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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