I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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