You work out of a Hotel?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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