Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
