I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
