Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
