This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
