end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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