So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You took a bar mat shot.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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