His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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