if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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