Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
