that's an acceptable place to lick
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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