For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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