I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize