I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
