if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
